Saturday, 24 September 2016

Master Journey (Part 1)

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So, it has been exactly a YEAR I’m doing my master studies, and I have another 4 months to go until February then I will finish everything. I just can’t wait to have my own carrier my own car, my own house and all. Hopefully Allah does help me to ease the path of upcoming life. I am way too excited to look forward. I think I have equipped myself enough with the knowledge and I really hope people would see me as a useful-great person to be working with.

Along with my journey to get the master, I have been gone through a lot of pain, obstacles, and the struggle is real. It is not about how hard was the education or the complexity of engineering stuff in a master level but it is a matter of money and life. I finally know how does it feel when you don’t have any money and you know what? finding money is the most difficult task. Ever. Universities, colleges or schools doesn’t teach you how to survive but they just give you the theoretical knowledge that you can use to your future. From the knowledge, you can make money and think by yourself.

I am 24th years old this year. Many of my friends getting hitched, married and engaged. While I am still the same girl with the PTPTN loan holder, 40K $ debt of PTPTN need to be settle, cooking skill not master, body shape still skinny, pimples all over the surface of my skin and yeah. I kinda hate myself now, but God knows how blessful I am supposed to feel. Thinking about married is a major NO right now.

During my first semester of master, I worked at Dakwah Corner Bookstore in PJ, about two months but I was way too exhausted so I quit. It was very far from my college and I have to walk, take a bus, take a KTM, take LRT, then WALK again and again. Sometimes I cried. Because I’m tired. I couldn’t study at night. I think it will affect my result so I resign as soon as study week is approached. As the stressful environment heat me up, my weight reduced, my face was getting really worse with the severe acne prone like I couldn’t imagine how bad it is. People who see me, will ask me what happen to your FACE. And I just say, Product Mistake perhaps. I ignored my skin actually because you know what I DON’T HAVE MONEY TO BUY THINGS-TO MEET DOCTORS-TO BUY MEDICINE OR TO BUY ANY DRINK TO HEAL THE ACNE. I don’t give a DAMN about it and I let them grow happily and walk with the scary face without any feeling. I am kinda GAVE UP. Then, I took exam, sit for VIVA, and pass with flying color, Alhamdulillah. Two month semester break, I clean up my face.

Second semester started in March and I decided to apply PTPTN because I don’t want to burden my father with the fees. At the same time, I am trying to work anywhere I found the advertisement, I pray to God a lot, I email to every kindergarten for weekend job. I successfully get the PTPTN loan about 7K. I work one day at the stall in Zaba Cafe to balut popia about 300 pieces, they paid me very little but I am happy to get the RM18 salary per day! And early April, I got a part time job as a TUTOR. I was very excited and thankful; Allah does hear me. MasyaAllah. I love teaching but the skill is not there. My student name is Alin. His father pays me RM30 per hour. In a month, the salary was more than enough to buy me food!

Second semester was quit happier, easier than semester one as I got the salary from my part time tutor-job, got PTPTN loan, got Zakat UKM, and my parents gave me a motorcycle to go to a class and work. Plus, there is no master project so I seem relax and eat without thinking my money will decrease. I hate the moment when I have to stop myself from buying food because I need to cut down my money. I hate how I should eat less in a day and that’s why I buy many foods as I want when I’m in sem 2. 

I pass the semester with a very flying colours of result am so thankful. Alhamdulillah. It was kind of my first time ever getting the best result out of my life. Big achievement! What about semester 3? I will continue writing after I finish my semester 3 later! I am now in week 3 of my last semester.

The journey was amahzingggg! Happy weekend!

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