At first, my application is rejected since I have just finish my degree last Jun.
I mean, my graduation day is on October so they thought I didn't finish my degree - yet.
But last week, got an email from the jabatan saying that my offer is accepted!
Last year i did apply the master program at Manchester University and got the un-conditional offer from them on February. But the Mara-Scholar is wayyy too late for me and friends to apply since the intake is on September. We're running out of money. We dont have an extra money for the preparation of VISA, FLIGHT, FEES and lastly-we-have-to-forget-about-it and yaaa continue this life as a normal-boring-human-ever.
I have decided to pursue my study after finishing my degree sejak kecil lagi.
Plus the job market is not that robust right now. I just think that studying is the best decision.
But what makes me stress right now is finding the scholarship and the-whatever-shit-money-that-i-need-really-a-lot! And for sure I have to (again) use my bapak's money to pay the fees before I get the money from the scholar-organization.
The un-stable feeling is scattered all over the places.
I think my life now is at the craziest its ever been.
Because I felt useless to my beautiful parents. Am I the ever useless daughter ? Hmmmmm I knew they were quite proud of me, willing to give me money and support me a lot to STUDY but some of the times I was mentally down & deeply hurt like hello I don't know how to describe it. Just take me to somewhere please where I can be alone and skip this life for A WHILE ? No. I shouldn't say like this. I shouldn't. I must pay my parents kindness and sacrifices by working really hard. (damn ninjas cutting onion)
CAN YOU GUYS PRAY FOR ME ?
Hopefully I get the scholar because it took some quite tough effort for me to apply it. May Allah ease my way, my niat and my journey of being someone that I really want. May Allah give me chances to pay back ALL OF MY PARENTS good deed, for what they have sacrificed for me and siblings :(
But all in all, I was really thankful and grateful for the offer. I know I am extremely lucky, Alhamdulillah for everything. Never compare your life to someone else’s because God has different paths set out for each and every one of us. At the end of the day, we’re all meeting at the same point.
Been reading one of the inspirational blog, the writer is kind of my idol as she is cool, hardworking and here it is, she said :
" And remember that if you don’t get what you want, it’s not the end of the world. Life still goes on and Allah swt has good plans for you anyway, but it’s important to never have regrets and looking back knowing that you never took anything for granted. So do the best you can in everything that you do. You owe yourself (and your parents) that "
Till the next post ! I really want to always update this blog but then so many things happen and I can't always sit in front of my laptop leisurely !