So, it
has been exactly a YEAR I’m doing my master studies, and I have another 4 months to go until February then I will finish everything. I just can’t wait to
have my own carrier my own car, my own house and all. Hopefully Allah does help
me to ease the path of upcoming life. I am way too excited to look forward. I
think I have equipped myself enough with the knowledge and I really hope people
would see me as a useful-great person to be working with.
Along with my journey to get the master,
I have been gone through a lot of pain, obstacles, and the struggle is real. It
is not about how hard was the education or the complexity of engineering stuff
in a master level but it is a matter of money and life. I finally know how does
it feel when you don’t have any money and you know what? finding money is the
most difficult task. Ever. Universities, colleges or schools doesn’t teach you
how to survive but they just give you the theoretical knowledge that you can
use to your future. From the knowledge, you can make money and think by
yourself.
I am 24th years old this year. Many of my
friends getting hitched, married and engaged. While I am still the same girl
with the PTPTN loan holder, 40K $ debt of PTPTN need to be settle, cooking
skill not master, body shape still skinny, pimples all over the surface of my
skin and yeah. I kinda hate myself now, but God knows how blessful I am
supposed to feel. Thinking about married is a major NO right now.
During my first semester of master, I worked at
Dakwah Corner Bookstore in PJ, about two months but I was way too exhausted so
I quit. It was very far from my college and I have to walk, take a bus, take a
KTM, take LRT, then WALK again and again. Sometimes I cried. Because I’m tired.
I couldn’t study at night. I think it will affect my result so I resign as soon
as study week is approached. As the stressful environment heat me up, my weight
reduced, my face was getting really worse with the severe acne prone like I
couldn’t imagine how bad it is. People who see me, will ask me what happen to
your FACE. And I just say, Product Mistake perhaps. I ignored my skin actually
because you know what I DON’T HAVE MONEY
TO BUY THINGS-TO MEET DOCTORS-TO BUY MEDICINE OR TO BUY ANY DRINK TO HEAL THE
ACNE. I don’t give a DAMN about it and I let them grow happily and walk
with the scary face without any feeling. I am kinda GAVE UP. Then, I took exam,
sit for VIVA, and pass with flying color, Alhamdulillah. Two month semester
break, I clean up my face.
Second semester started in March and I decided to
apply PTPTN because I don’t want to burden my father with the fees. At the same
time, I am trying to work anywhere I found the advertisement, I pray to God a
lot, I email to every kindergarten for weekend job. I successfully get the PTPTN
loan about 7K. I work one day at the stall in Zaba Cafe to balut popia about
300 pieces, they paid me very little but I am happy to get the RM18 salary per
day! And early April, I got a part time job as a TUTOR. I was very excited and
thankful; Allah does hear me. MasyaAllah. I love teaching but the skill is not
there. My student name is Alin. His father pays me RM30 per hour. In a month, the salary was more than enough to buy me food!
Second semester was quit happier, easier than
semester one as I got the salary from my part time tutor-job, got PTPTN loan, got Zakat UKM, and my parents
gave me a motorcycle to go to a class and work. Plus, there is no master
project so I seem relax and eat without thinking my money will decrease. I hate
the moment when I have to stop myself from buying food because I need to cut
down my money. I hate how I should eat less in a day and that’s why I buy many
foods as I want when I’m in sem 2.
I pass the semester with a very flying colours of result am so thankful. Alhamdulillah. It was kind of my first time ever getting the best result out of my life. Big achievement! What about semester 3? I will continue
writing after I finish my semester 3 later! I am now in week 3 of my last semester.
The journey was amahzingggg! Happy weekend!