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Thursday, 28 February 2013

the power of relationship



i sad for no reason. i cry for no reason and i felt alone and scared for no reason.
i was afraid of the darkness.
morning.
i woke up and i wil try to remember the dream that always made me sad. bad dream.
night.
i hate  every night that i 've gone through. it was like an emptiness and im doing nothing.
(only look at the internet which is damn boring)



the weird-est feeling that i cannt describe. its totally weird.

but

i have to admit that every moment i was with my classmates and friends. i was so happy and warmth.
and every moment im doing my prayer and reciting Quran. i felt calm.
does it show how 'power' was the relationship?
relationship w God and human.


the main point is.
maybe.
i am just worrying bout my father at home. mama said he's okey.




but i wanna hug them :(
please.



i am letting my heart to give an instruction to my eyes to cry  as much as they want.
dimana aku melayan perasaan yang tah apa apa.
no mood towards everything.





Tuesday, 26 February 2013

bapak.

i posted this not because of my dad's birthday.
but its kind of a sad thing to be share.

my bapak.


he was admitted to the hospital last night.

*ini kali ketiga sejak pindah aku rasa*


because of what?
sebab yang sama lagi. for sure, his diabetes. high levels of sugar in his blood.
everyone know how my bapak was. he loved delicious food very much. coffee and tea everyday.
makan tak pernah berpantang.  semua tempat,kedai makan femes dia p dan bawak family.
hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm. no comment all.

mum already scolded him. not to eat too much cow/goat 's meat. dia ada darah tinggi jugak.
not to drink tooo much sweet sweet drink. tapi. itu lah.

oh my lovely bapak,
your daugther is not a doctor ,so i cannt help you too much and i am too noob in everything bout the health.
mama did well. i know mama was the best 'doctor' in the world to take care of you.
she looks stronger sebab dia agak menjaga pemakanan nya.

jangan la sakit :'(


what can i do now was keep praying.
i dont want anything bad happen to my daddy,my hero. mama jugak. please being well. hopefully mama bapak rehat secukupnya. please please please. if only i was there at home. i wanna help them :( :(

the strong Queen with the super cool Hero



if you can see my face right now, you may think that i am such a strong woman. not clearly seen on my face  (the worry-ness) yes. i am pro at hiding thing behind my face :')
but deep inside my heart. i am weak.


just pretending to be strong. cause i am the eldest. i am the leader. tak kan kalah dengan perasaan.


p/s : dear readers, i hope you guys pray for my dad's health too. i know he will be okay :) amin.

Sunday, 24 February 2013

handmade.

last semester break, i was so boring doing nothing. besides watching running man,
TVD series and movies.i also made cute cute thing. something like kerongsang.
aku tengok adik aku,angah buat dulu.
so. dua hari lagi nak balik UKM aku pun teringin buat.

aku beli semua benda2 berkaitan. mama pulak layankan ja kami.
adik aku jual kat sekolah budak budak suka sangat la.
satu seringgit pulak.
laku kot.
buat huduh huduh ja.


and me.

just thinking of the ideas to make a birthday present.


memandangkan birthday syida, my classmate bulan 3. so i made it.
tapi dia dah tengok hadiah ni sebab dia tgok camera album aku.
tak suprise langsung.

she's syida.on my left. black bawal.


but then.
too many colours. jadi aku pun mula lah merapu kan diri.


and 


tadaa. banyak tak? sikit ja ni.
adik aku buat dah dekat 50 jenis.

aku jual kat kengkawan UKM. hehe
2 bersamaan RM 3.


tak kemas potongannya but it is okey to wear and put on your tudung everyday.
meriah sikit kan?


aku jugak buat tempat simpan duit atau kad kad.
haha just simple one.


front

satu- RM 2.50

back

thats all :) thank you. 

p/s : i think i am the only one who love to suprise the one that i love,and everyone. hmm. hmm.




weekend.

my first weekend day here.since i just came back to my lovely UKM,i went to Time Square today (saturday). my legs were having a combo aches.i was really like mak tok nenek and because of that i bought one comfort sandal , the simplest selipa. 


say hi to this blacky pinky balalaca !


after i bought this, i decided to withdraw my money more sebab macam tak cukup sbb belum beli apa lg.
dalam hati bercakap ' menyesal aku tinggalkan duit kt bilik' . nampak tak syaitonirojim nya ?
lepas tu, adik aku tak habis nak kasut ala korea dia. aku survey puny survey memang lah $_$
mostly harga above 50 dan standard lah utk kasut camtu.

tak beli lagi dah kasut.

walking around dulu then dekat floor 8. aku panggil kawan aku suruh pandang bawah dan aku cakap.
' weh sini lah orang bunuh diri tu, scary ahhhh!! ' terus budak2 tu tampar aku cakap jangan kuat2 sangat.


i took a photo of this.
camnilah kemaghen gayanya. ramai sangat manusia.

tengok kat gambaq tu pon dah tau kan macam mana lah lutut aku tak longgaq. 
jari kaki aku mengada merah.sebab jalan banyak sangat. lif ada tak naik langsung lah sebab excited nak beli itu ini.totally gila.

jumpa plak sweater. memandangkan sweater lama kesayangan aku tertinggal umah membe kepada membe aku. so, i bought this one hewhewhew.


tak mahal pun. serius murah.
 tetiba jugak ternampak baju baby. cute gila.
i cannt control myself. i was so into the baby world! hahaha

they were so small and adorable.
pilih baju baby macam ada baby sendiri.

asalnya beli saiz 1 month tp kecik! so baby cepat besar.aku pon tukar amik 12 month!

 untuk bagi kepada si kecik tembambam. Baby L!
dah habis tu. cucuk duit lagi.tsk tsk. 

suddenly.
dan jumpa lah benda alah ni. aku cakap aku nak tuntut kat adik aku balik duit,
then member aku kata ' sponsor la dia sekali sekala'
pergh. macam aku dah kerja -_-
sorry bapak.


kasut ala korea budak pipah tu nanak -..-

and lastly. aku rasa aku dah kena balik UKM sebab lagi lama lagi gila.
turun nak naik monorel.nampak satu baju floral yang labuh dan sopan.tengok harga.
okey ambik terus bayaq. gulps.
k bye.

p/s : baucer buku tak guna lagi. 5 buku bakal menanti . memang mahal buku utk kos aku. harap2 cukup lah baucer tu. ekehekeh. dan. stationary shop. really want to go there a.s.a.p but malas.





Friday, 22 February 2013

PTPTN dan Baucer.


aku lukis benda ni sebagai peringatan. kehkehkeh keh .

Thursday, 21 February 2013

the clumsy one.

hello there.
did you noticed my new blog title? 

' THE CLUMSY XEYR '

i called myself clumsy caused i am super duper awkward and always failed while handling everything
in my hand. oqang kedah cakap , lengai dan loklaq . orang kolompo cakap cuai.

bagi tumpah itu ini. tertinggal itu ini. tak tutup pintu kereta si dia bagi rapat. fon jatuh 60 juta kali.
nasib baik handpon aku tu tahan gila walaupon pernah berenang dalam mangkuk maggie.
clumsy me is always clumsy.

so thats why out of sudden i was thinking bout the idea to change nama blog aku.
yang lama punya 'LIVE , LOVE, LOTS OF XEYR' . saja ubah angin pulak. acewah.


kesejukan kabus awan di tanah tinggi Penang. si baju putih tu lah budak CLUMSY.

macam poyo kan nak sebut budak clumsy. aduhduduh huduh habaq hang. tapi apa dayaku.
kalau aku letak budak cuai lagi lah poyo. eh. POYO tu macam mana?
serius aku tak tahu apa maksud poyo. saja ja sebut sebab ikut cakap Johan #inisemuapoyo.

okeylah sudah cukup sudah cerita nama blog baru.

so far bout my new semester 2 for this second year quite good. i mean rasa berfoya foya masih bersarang di dalam kotak hati dan sanubari . tersemat indah perasaan 'rilex lu' dalam kepala hotak yang tak berapa nak cerdik ni ha. walaupun aku tahu minggu pertama sahaja perasaan sebegini dapat ku rasa. 

tak mengapa.

akan aku siapkan senjata senjata persediaan mental fizikal untuk menghadapi beratnya hari hari seterusnya.
ceh . poyo lagi ayat. tapi kan. sem ni orang cakap jumlah unit sikit so takdak la packed macam sem lepas.
sem lepas aku bernapas setengah nyawa rasa. dengan projek itu ini, ass , kuis dan LAB yang berbillion.

sem ni projek still ada lagi. integrated project . the combination of all subjects.
but what made me ' ugh ' adalah  the group members doesnt change, me and syida want to be together but the boys. doesnt seems alright for us. to be fair i think Prof harus reshuffle the name list lah.

jemahnya aku ber pot pet sorang sorang dalam ni.

and i wanna share some pictures that may inspire us. 


well said huh?






yes. everyone can . wish me luck for dis new semesta peeps !!! love !

Saturday, 16 February 2013

result sem 1 ( sesi 2012/2013)


assalamualaikum salam pembuka bicara.
amboi title entry aku gila lah obvious tahap badak sumbu.

first of all. first and foremost.
alhamdulillah syukur kepada Allah sebab He gave me what i had du'a before this.
memang aku berterima kasih sangat. sebab aku tak mintak setinggi-tinggi nya
cuma berharap its 'IMPROVED'


nak naik dari kejatuhan memang kena slow slow.
sebabnya aku tahu tahap aku. kalau aku tak mampu. memang aku tahu aku tak mampu.
kalau aku boleh memang aku akan cuba sampai boleh. insyaAllah :')
alhamdulillah sekali lagi dan aku harap. untuk sem datang ni aku lebihkan lagi usaha.

usaha kita menentukan hasil.

usaha banyak, banyak dapat. usaha sikit, sikit dapat.

dan Allah tak pandang pun hasil tapi dia pandang lebih kepada usaha dan ikhlas kita.

so sesiapa  berusaha sangat banyak tapi dia tak dapat hasil besar, Allah sedang MENGUJI.
dan sesiapa usaha sangat sikit, tapi hasil nya besar, Allah jugak sedang UJI NIKMAT.
nak tengok kita syukur ka tak kan?


okey dah.


apa-apa pun paling menggembirakan aku.
bila aku dengar kawan kawan semua meningkat dan mantain.
result semua okey . tahniah !


kita setadi sama sama, sebab tu rasa happy bila sama-sama okey.

*******


thank you to him sebab mlayan aku mintak ambik gambaq tengah panas ghembang.
memang boring takdak kawan nak ambik gambaq.
so dia mangsa lah.

and yesterday.

aku tersangat lah awkward gila sebab first time kenduri umah dia aku p dan penuh adik beradik sedara
yang membuatkan aku segan malu malu kucing. phuiii me !
makan dalam talam besaq sangatlah best :) sedap!

btw im so happy to see them,him,my bff. and i'll miss him. and i will miss family. i will miss home.
i will miss girlfriends.
esok dah nak balik ukm. bermulalah hidupku di Bangi.
bye semorang. jangan sedih. nanti aku lagi sedih.
jumpa lagi . sobs sobs. 
sobs.





Friday, 8 February 2013

here she is :)

annangsayeo people .

check it out :)


hi out there .
 saya comot.


'kakak, jangan la ambik gambar, kiteew malu'


'ibu ! tengok kakak ni haaa'

ok mana gigi ? tunjuk kakak mana gigi??

cheeseee ><


okey good. perut mana?


here my stomach!


ok satu gambar ni macam dia amik gambar diri sendiri hehehe

padahal aku yang ambik.

look
-
-
-






she was happy to sit on that kerusi kayu -_-
what more can i say?  i just cant let the moment of her cuteness terlepas macam tu.
thats y banyak gila gambaq T_T




she : berhenti ambik gambar saya .
me : no no no. cepat senyum!


she : malas layan .


sebenarnya budak ni tak reti cakap lagi pon haha tu semua monolog dalaman.
bye.




Wednesday, 6 February 2013

between

listening to the song Between by Courrier.


i just feel so empty.

and i dont know why.

feels like there is a big hole that i must make it full.

thats all.

An emptiness,a void , a heaviness and a sigh.
But i know you will make through alive.

Monday, 4 February 2013

masa senggang.

hai.
hari ni nak taip entry lagha. maafkan aku.



aku.


nak cakap pasal running man. 'berlari lelaki'


dekat kolej,seorang  roomate baru aku ni, dari start semester sampai la habis sem baru-baru ni.
setiap hari dia bukak tv show korea. 'we get married' la apa entah dan 'runnning man' for sure.


pada satu tengah pagi buta 3 4 pagi aku nak lelap mata pun dengar dia gelak ketawa sorang2.
seram gua cakap kat sama lu orang.aku tutup telinga and made some weird movement while laying my body untuk dia perasan aku tgh annoyed.
tapi dia tak nampak.


susahnya aku struggle nak tdoq malam tu.


lepas tu classmates, jiran depan bilik semua lah ada bercakap pasal actors dalam running man ni.
and i was like ' apa jadah nama budak2 ni sembang lah -_-'

time makan petang, kalau kawan dtg makan at bilik aku
mulalah sembang pasal running man dengan roomate aku
aku buat bodoh ja sebab takpaham.


SEKARANG.

tengah cuti. aku kat rumah try bukak episod 1.
aku tak paham sangat apa benda running man ni.
lepas tu lama2. oh bukan kpop sangat !!! hahaha sebab nya.

it all about mission. misi yg perlu diselesai. alar macam EXPLORACE jugak.
macam fear factor. setiap minggu ada guest jemputan.
yang penting. its funny.

aku dah tengok episod sampai 39 heheheheh.
semua yang aku copy ada 129 episod! banyak gilo *_*
takpa lah yang penting lawaklawak lawak dan gelak. sumpah aku paling kesian kat gwang soo.


gwang soo popularity tak tinggi sangat, tapi dia saiz tinggi hahahaha .
dia selalu kena buli dengan semua orang. jahat betoi. paling kanan kt gambar bawah ni gwang soo.



and i love ji hyo's beauty. she's cute !



k lah bye.
nak sambung tengok lagi.
jangan kutuk kutuk nanti jadi macam aku.

ini la aktiviti masa senggang aku haha

tak suka last2 tengok series ni terus suka sbb lawak :P

Saturday, 2 February 2013

confusing.

between love and ego.

between prey and predator.

between live and life.

between circle and rectangle.

between left and right.

between the false and wrong.


Never assume . Ask.
Never imitate. Create.

Either get together or scatter. Choose.

Confusion is the good explanation , for not understanding things that cannt be reasoned.
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